The professional athlete

I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to continue to online date after my first experience, but I figured it couldn't get any worse.  I got a message from a guy we will call Stuart, and he was right to the point and asked me to hang out.  I thought this was great, he didn't want to waste my time talking for a month before meeting.  My first clue should have been that he wanted to hang out that night, and he wanted me to drive to his house so he could make me dinner.  Now I am all up for a guy cooking for me, but I am definitely not going to your house on a first date.  It's kind of like the dumb girls that run upstairs in horror movies... You know that just won't end well.  I laid out my rules, and he agreed that going to grab a drink at a bar would be a better move.  I also need to add that it just so happened to be the night of the NFL Draft.  Now, I really don't watch too much professional football, but I love college football and watch the draft every year to see who makes it and where they end up.  

I met Stuart at a local sports bar, as I figured if the date was going bad I could just tune him out and watch the draft.  He is insistent in picking which table we sit at, and of course it is one where I can't see the tv, but I think maybe it's a sign that I won't need the backup.  The waitress comes over and takes our order.  I order a miller lite bottle, and Jack gives me an evil look (I'm not exaggerating it was evil).  He then goes into a 20 minute rant on how I am drinking my beer wrong and he was taught on a brewery tour that you should always drink beer on draft.  He actually asked the waitress to bring me a glass so I could pour my beer into it.  (Just to be clear I still drank it out of the bottle). I'm sorry I didn't realize there was a correct way to drink a beer, and I'm sure if brewery's didn't want you drinking out of a bottle they wouldn't make them.  I can't even imagine what this kid would say about drinking beer out of a can!  Strike 1.

I thought changing the topic was a good idea and asked him what sports he liked to watch and if he played any sports.  This is when I learned that there is such a thing as a professional whirlyball league.   Now for those of you who do not know what whirlyball ball is, you drive around in bumper cars (usually drunk), and throw a ball into a basketball hoop.  Sounds amazing right?  I tell him that's one of the coolest things ever and he probably has so much fun drinking and driving bumper cars around in a professional league!  Nope... He gives me the evil look again and proceeds to school me on the "sport" of whirlyball.  Apparently there is no drinking allowed and it is people like me that give the "sport" of whirlyball a bad name.  He owns special sticks to throw the ball, special uniforms to make him more aerodynamic, and he travels to other cities to compete.  Was this kid for real?  I mean I'm all for having a hobby that you are passionate about, but come on... Aerodynamic suits?  That's worse than the superhero suits at comic-con.  I at least have respect for those nerds.  Strike 2.

After the whirlyball discussion (yes I was still there) Stuart wanted to talk baseball.  I told him I really enjoy going to baseball games, but I don't really pay attention and I don't really care one way or another who wins.  He asked me if I was a Cub or Sox fan.  Being from Chicago, people are very die-hard when it comes to which team they root for, but with me it doesn't really make a difference.   I told him that if I had to pick, I would definitely pick the Cubs, but I root for both teams.  Stuart obviously didn't like that answer and told me he would have worn his "Cubs Suck" t-shirt if he knew I was a Cubs fan.  Really??  I figured since he was being rude, I might as well join the party.  I take out my phone to check the draft results (because remember he wouldn't let me sit anywhere near a tv), and the evil stare comes out again.  He says... And I quote "I now understand why you don't have a boyfriend.  You care a little too much about football."  No words.  Strike 3.

I got up, said I was leaving, and started to walk away, when he says he will walk me to my car.  No I do not want you to walk me to my car, but for the sake of not making a scene in the bar, I let him follow me in silence.  Stuart then proceeds to tell me as we get to my car that while I may be a cool girl to have a beer with, I was not dateable, and there would be no second date.  No shit Sherlock.  This kid insulted me the entire time we were out, why in the world would I subject myself to that a second time?  

Lesson learned:  Maybe I should talk to a guy a little bit before going out with them.  Not a month, but at least a week.  And next time a guy insults me don't stick around thinking it may get better because it never will. 

He called me 2 weeks later to go out again... I said no.